Stuck in the Middle of Consequences

It’s been a year since I became a member of the Lyceum of the Philippines Chorale. It’s really one of the greatest experiences of my life. I have learned to sing properly, listen to sharps and flats, reach high notes, read notes, and have good voice modulation. I’ve experienced to have one of the best group of friends ever. I can sing in unison with other members on prestigious occasions, contests, and gigs. I also had the chance to go on a trip and have fun with them. I can feel that the chorale is my dwelling place during my stay in Lyceum.

But in life, we have choices. We have to make our decisions when we are to choose between situations. I like being in the chorale, but there’s an urge inside me to leave it. I’ve felt this since before and the former president knew it.

I really have a great passion for music. I’m a music lover since I was a kid. I have dreamed of being a singer someday. I have joined school bands. Now, I’m a member of a chorale. I didn’t like classical music but this event changed it.

However, since I joined the chorale, I encountered a lot of consequences. Our college dean strongly disagrees with our additional commitments because it will interfere with our academic focus. It didn’t bother me a lot not until the second semester. First, I had difficulty managing my time between academics and rehearsals. Sometimes, I have to leave a class on my major subject just to attend a performance in the auditorium. The quiz on the topic became very difficult for me. I also had a hard time studying my notes and the repertoire at the same time. A performance or gig that lasts until the wee hours is so tiring. It’s even more tiring if you have an early class the next day. Also, when some of the members plan to go out, peer pressure attacks me. So, I’m forced to spend my time and money. Although my parents appreciate my singing, we argue about my expenses and waste of time from joining the chorale. I know they’re right. I’m raised to be wise enough on being practical. They wanted me to quit. But one problem depresses me much. It’s my problem on relationship with some members. I think they don’t allow me to make myself ridiculous because they feel inferior of my intellect. But that’s my nature. So, I’m often left lagging behind. If that’s the case, it isn’t fair. I’m only human and I can’t live all by myself.

My apology to my fellow chorale members if you ever read this. I just wanted to cry my heart out. Please always be my friend whatever my decision is. I know some of you may be in worse situations than mine, but you still remain because you really like what you are doing. I like being in the chorale, but my priority is on my studies. I’ll never trade my academics to extracurricular activities. That’s a strong principle that molded in me since I was young. It is the foundation of my future. Besides, it’s what our parents wanted for us. God told us to honor our parents.

I’m stuck in the middles of consequences. May God lead the way.